Reviving Romance: A Simple Guide to Fun Date Nights for Married Ladies
Married life can sometimes lose its spark, but fear not! Rekindling the romance can be simpler than you think, even if it means stealing a rare few moments away from the hustle and bustle of daily life. In this easy-to-follow guide, we'll explore how to plan a fun date night, even if it starts at 5 am or involves coordinating with other parents for a couple of kid-free hours.
Step 1 - Timing is Everything
The first step is to chat with your partner about when you can steal some time for yourselves. As best you can, find a playful way to bring this up (steal ideas from the Laugh Me class), because this convo can be a really charged one, as you might not both be in the practice of “planning” fun.
Whether it's a morning date before the kids wake up or a carefully planned hour off work, knowing when you’ll connect is crucial, but also needs to be flexible.
Step 2 - Embrace Simplicity
The key to a successful date night is simplicity. Avoid adding stress by playing with what you already have at home. Doing so not only keeps things easy, but also prevents potential resentment, which can come from one person doing more planning than the other, from creeping into the planning process.
Step 3 - Menu Suggestions
Propose a simple snack menu, such as sliced fruit, crackers, chocolate-covered nuts, and a glass of plain water in a fancy glass. After suggesting the options, patiently wait for your partner's response. Remember to express gratitude for their input (even if it’s merely a grunt), cultivating a positive atmosphere for the upcoming date.
Step 4 - Building Intimacy
Keep the menu theme going: ask your partner what they would like on the menu physically, focusing on building emotional intimacy. Patience is key here; you might even need to count to 30 before responding if they need a moment to think.
If they don't have a preference, take the initiative by suggesting various options, including holding hands, kissing, specific positions, eye-gazing, and discussing preferences for music or ambient sounds.
Step 5 - Preparation and Playfulness
As the date approaches, gather all the menu items, including a sheet or blanket, and some couch pillows. Add some playfulness, perhaps by challenging yourselves, like, "Can we get all this upstairs in 8 minutes?"
Lay down a sheet on the floor, creating a designated space for your intimacy. If you have hard floors, scatter some couch cushions for added comfort. Get down to playing, exploring, and learning.
Whether your date lasts 10 minutes or hours on end, search for your gratitude that you found any time at all.
*Important caveat. For any resentment and anger you feel coming up, I want you to be honest about it, at least with yourself. You can still be playful, while living with those feelings, and then make sure you use some tools to handle those very justified feelings. The Hold Me class goes deeply into tools and practices to process and discharge them.
Remember, cultivating intimacy is a process, and the first attempt might not feel as fabulous as you’d hope. Be gentle with yourself, stay committed to the journey, and know that there are tools and a path laid out for you when you're ready.
With simplicity, patience, and a playful attitude, you can breathe new life into your relationship and create memorable date nights that strengthen your connection. So, go ahead, embrace the fun, and enjoy the journey of rediscovering romance with your partner.
